How To Talk With Someone Who Has Cancer?

Cancer diagnosis is difficult to face with due to the strong emotions that accompany it. It is difficult for most of us to fully understand this situation, especially if we have never had direct contact with the disease. In the fight against it, support from relatives and family will be necessary. However, for fear of committing a blunder, saying a few wrong words or making wrong gestures, people who want to help feel lost and, as a result, do not help. So how do you talk to someone with cancer? Below you can find some tips that you may find helpful.

How to support a person with cancer?

Supporting a person with cancer involves activities in several areas of life. The most important of these include emotional and informational support. The first is to relieve strong emotions such as sadness, regret and anger, as well as stress – they are completely natural and should not be suppressed. Information support consists in searching for information that can be needed by the patient in the next stages of the fight against the disease – searching for treatment methods, contact information for recognized specialists and health centers specializing in cancer treatment. The educational value of activities consisting of searching for answers to various questions also plays a very important role. In addition to the above, it may also be invaluable to help with everyday duties, such as cooking or shopping. In some cases, material support will also be needed, resulting from the cost of drugs, diagnostics and transport.

How do I talk to someone with cancer?

Facing cancer is a difficult task not only for the patient, but also for the person supporting him in the fight. Therefore, one of the things to keep in mind when talking to someone who is sick is open communication. We should talk about our emotions, especially the negative ones - their accumulation can have a very negative impact on our mental health and our relationship with the patient. By expressing what we feel we will help the sick person to understand our fears. During conversations, honesty and the ability to listen, which requires empathy, are also very important. Dialogue conducted in this way is calming and gives a sense of understanding. Each illness is often accompanied by a feeling of loneliness, so it is important to make it clear that we will not leave the sick person alone at this time. As a supporter, we will also need to be forbearing.

Neoplastic disease stages

The sick person will go through several stages of the fight against cancer. Each of them is stressful and requires slightly different support. What stages are we talking about? The first is the diagnosis, i.e. the moment when we learn about the disease and decide on the treatment method. The next stage of treatment is very strongly influencing the general well-being of the patient. Next, we deal with disease remission, i.e. the stage when disease symptoms disappear. It is associated with a sense of insecurity for up to several years. The waiting time can end in two ways – complete remission or relapse. The relapse stage will require us to face the disease again, sometimes in a slightly altered form due to metastasis. A very difficult stage in the fight against cancer is the terminal stage, in which the patient's organism is significantly weakened. In each of them, the sick person will expect emotional support and the possibility of honest conversation. Moreover, people who support can be a source of motivation and help in everyday life. Comprehensive support organization can be overwhelming for one person, so it is worth including other people from the environment.

What should you avoid when supporting someone with cancer?

One of the greatest concerns of patients in the fight against cancer is the loss of autonomy and decision-making. Therefore, in order to support a loved one who suffers from cancer, we should not be officious in helping them out in every activity. Instead, we should make this situation as normal as possible. If we feel that our help may be useful, we should just ask about it. What else should we not do? Certainly giving advice, taking pity on the sick person and saying things like "everything will be fine". Nobody likes it, and people with cancer may feel that their problem is misunderstood or downplayed. When supporting a sick person, we should also develop a protective barrier that will allow us not to treat outbursts of anger personally

How can you help yourself?

Supporting a person with cancer is not an easy task, and to be in full strength you need to take care of your mental well-being as well. The relatives of a person suffering from cancer become so-called second-line patients. For the sake of mental balance, it is worth looking for effective ways to relieve negative emotions and relax. Here are a few things to pay special attention to:

• Communication and conversation about emotions. The patient's changing moods caused by the side effects of treatment can make the support person feel unwell. The way to deal with this difficulty is to… talk. However, it is important that it is based on open communication of emotions and the situations that caused them.
• Specialist help. If unpleasant thoughts cause discomfort and malaise for a long time, we should seek help from a specialist – a psychologist.
• Conscious breathing. Many people do not realize how important a role it plays in our lives. Breathing is a function that our body acquires at birth and the proper functioning of the body depends on it. In stressful situations, the breathing becomes shallower, which leads to insufficient oxygen supply, in the worst situations it may lead to hyperventilation, which further intensifies the feeling of nervous situations. Breathing techniques can be learned during meditation and yoga, in which it is worth involving the supported people.

The situation related to the diagnosis is extremely stressful not only for the patient, but also for the people who support her in the fight. Since they are an important part of the healing process, they should also take care of their own health.